In Prague, I am a wannabe hipster, increasingly frustrated at not being able to find the “right” place to be hip, thwarted by streams of selfie stick-toting tourists and tour guide groups.
Go to Prague if you:
appreciate Art Nouveau architecture and detail;
love eating hearty stodge;
rate a holiday based on the cheapness of beer;
believe a meal is incomplete without meat, cabbage, potato and/or dumplings;
dislike vegetables with your meal;
enjoy seeing sculpture and art in unexpected places around a city;
like exploring cities on foot;
enjoy history;
want to buy a camera and equipment (Langhans, an amazing photography department store);
enjoy rummaging through very reasonably priced old stamps and pin badges, many being Soviet (Světozor shopping arcade);
appreciate hipster/third wave coffee;
appreciate an easy-to-use, efficient and cheap transport network;
like shopping for creative jewellery;
like a choice of international cuisine, not just Czech;
like the sound of coriander cheese (yum);
enjoy mixed architecture;
love sweets/candy shops;
feel nostalgic for pubs with no-nonsense, no-frills food;
like the idea of researching off-the-well-worn-tourist trail places of historical, cultural and aesthetic interest;
appreciate street art and places that make you feel hip;
enjoy good bread (eg light brown with sunflower seeds, dark with caraway);
have a specifically-Prague architectural/cultural/historical interest in visiting rather than a more general interest based on the Prague-cool image.
Don’t go to Prague if you:
are a vegetarian who appreciates choice and variety of food;
consider selfie sticks the single most annoying thing about tourism;
expect to be able to visit the main sights at off-peak times with few, if any, fellow tourists;
have always wanted to see the Charles Bridge in its unspoilt historical and aesthetic splendour (unless you’re ok with very early morning/very late night in the rain);
have a fear of trams;
rate the friendliness of the majority of locals as a key factor to a memorable and enjoyable holiday;
expect to be able to eat cheaply in central/touristy areas;
find cobbles and uneven pavements and roads an annoyance;
want a particularly green and park-y city;
have a bad sense of direction which frustrates you at the best of times;
refuse to wear earplugs (especially if you stay on a night tram route);
expect it to be the most beautiful Gothic city in Europe;
are likely to feel overwhelmed by large groups of tourists (eg American, Russian, Chinese);
want to see Prague Castle, St Vitus Cathedral and Golden Lane but are not prepared to either get there for 9am or queue. For a very long time;
are gullible about on-street money exchangers and ticket touts and don’t take care with your bag security;
are particularly averse to seeing people staggering around under the influence of alcohol;
hate an abundance of people smoking on the streets;
expect accommodation to be cheap;
think it is Eastern or Western Europe – it is very much Central Europe;
are convinced the astronomical clock will be the most WOW thing ever;
have visited other Gothic or Baroque European cities and assume it will be as breathtaking;
are prone to disappointment when visiting hyped up places.
