Why don’t you … – Green Bottle Tree

… make some time to relax?

This may sound like a ridiculously easy activity, relaxing, but I know I am not alone in thinking that spending more time at home means you should be busy; mustn’t waste time and opportunities to get things done. I have probably attained unprecedented levels of productivity over the past two months, but kind of tell myself off when I feel exhausted because, why should I be tired being at home? I barely have work, I’m at home virtually all day every day and unpaid days off should be spent being a domestic goddess/superwoman/unrealistic overachiever.

Well, do you know what, sometimes I am really tired and I think about what I’ve been doing around the house and realise I have every reason to be tired. It was my birthday this week and a friend suggested in her card that I should treat myself to a feet-up kind of day and maybe another home pedicure.

As is my way of preparing for a location-specific activity, I first tired myself out by sweeping, plumping, fixing, vacuuming, floor-washing and tidying. I ever so slightly annoy myself by perceiving a need to make any area I’m about to spend time in, especially for relaxing, as clean, tidy and welcoming as possible. I would occasionally like to be a bit less obsessive compulsive on that issue. Anyway, for example, our day bed had become messy, but it still worked for the purpose of sitting and napping on so I hadn’t fixed it. It now looks and feels more inviting.

I had also been meaning to make a malt loaf from a particular recipe I’ve used before. It was, without a shadow of doubt, the best malt loaf ever (though not hard as I’d only ever had packaged malt loaf) and also one of the most amazingly delicious cakes imaginable. It took me three weeks to secure some wholemeal flour (though self-raising rather than plain), I had already bought the prunes and a light beer and I had in-date (shock) malt extract from having made it before. In short, I had been ready to make it, more than ready to eat it and I still hadn’t bothered to make it. So I added this on to my pre-relaxation chores … not that I have eaten any yet; it’s best left for three days before eating – roll on, Monday.

Room ready, malt loaf in the oven and I was definitely deserving of some down-time. See, even that, a feeling I need to earn relaxation time. Not a healthy mindset really, though I can see there is a line somewhere between laziness and over-activity, and whole consecutive days of relaxation and pampering is deep into the laziness side of the line.

I first of all plugged in my new (birthday present, so new to me but old) cassette player, accidentally pressed record (fat-fingered play and record double-button moment -nostalgia comin’ atcha!) and lost a bit of a favourite “Bops 1” track, but then enjoyed listening to that and other 1990s mix tapes – that in itself is a “Why don’t you…” activity of joy and wonder – I soaked my feet, scrubbed them … yeah, full pedicure pamper (as per my previous home spa day). I then painted my toe nails and spent the next hour and a half genuinely with my feet up, relaxing. And, no surprise really, it was just what I needed.

I had a doze first, wearing a cooling eye mask and with ear plugs in for full silence. Decadent though it felt for a split-second, I then listened through my headphones to a podcast (Table Manners with David Schwimmer as the guest) from start to finish. No interruptions, no chores and, maybe crucially, no guilt.

Sometimes it really doesn’t seem obvious that you need a break, a chunk of time set aside for relaxation, but it’s restorative and all round good for you to have some quiet, relaxing me-time, doing whatever it is that makes you switch off for a bit. After listening to the podcast episode, I had a video chat with a friend, and that too was part of my relaxation process.

As for the malt loaf, I’m thinking of a few hours dedicated to tea and cake, mobile phone on silent, feet up and an opportunity to read more of the book (Middlemarch) I’ve had on the go for six weeks. That could well be how I’ll spend part of bank holiday Monday. And I will not feel guilty about spending time doing nothing. Or eating lots of cake.