… make yourself look better in video chats?
#1
For the past month, having previously only ever had video chats with my partner, I have been video chatting with friends on an almost daily basis. Most of us hadn’t even had a phone conversation in at least ten years, yet somehow we’ve bypassed phones and gone straight to video.
I have seen more ceilings, light fittings, nostrils and necks than I have ever seen in the real world. I have also become a bit obsessed with the insights into people’s lives, the home life on display in the background. I know I am not the only person to be doing that.
For some reason, I hadn’t really thought too much about what friends (and also a few more professional contacts) would see and judge of my backdrop. Until, that is, I saw an algorithm-driven ad appear for a YouTube video “How To Look Good on Video Calls for Zoom FaceTime Skype” with Hot & Flashy Angie.
I slightly resent the vanity which I expect led me to click on the link, watch the whole 11 minutes 51 seconds, including enduring two rounds of adverts, and make changes to my video chat set-up. If you do have a look at Hot & Flashy, for the record, I am not prepared to accept that an algorithm sent that link to me because it’s seen me and decided it appropriate for “… mature women who want to look and feel their best in their hot-flash years.”
My Zoom-life before Hot & Flashy Angie came to the rescue
Open Zoom on either my laptop, mobile or tablet, whichever was closest, with mobile my last choice, start Zoom, fiddle about with audio, look a bit out-of-my-depth/confused trying to unmute myself, keep looking at myself on the mini screen, shift about a bit to at least conceal one layer of multiple neck, chat, fidget, adjust clothing to not look like my body has inflated (a recurring theme), move device around to redress the balance of background versus me (I have always been background-heavy), fidget, chat, fret about various unflattering elements of my picture, have a snoop at my friend’s backdrop, fidget, chat, wish I’d thought to prepare myself with snacks and drinks to hand, get up, obliterate my camera with, usually, full bust cover, get water, same form of obliteration on return, coupled with neck and nostril close ups to reposition camera. And repeat.
My Zoom-life contemplated while watching Hot & Flashy
OMG not only is she older than me, she’s 57 and looks far more polished than me, and in some respects more youthful. How is her face so smooth. Credit to Angie, a professional vlogger, she showed how bad she looks with the wrong angle and background. Aha, I see, it’s all about the positioning of the camera. Oh, and some make-up and heated hair products. There is no way I’m putting on make-up or fancying-up my hair, though I can see it is worth it in some respects. I just don’t care enough to go out and buy make-up (other than a foundation powder I use). Or curling tongs/straighteners.
She’s surprisingly engaging, for a subject matter I didn’t even realise I was interested in, and she’s right, lighting, angle; it really does help to get it right.
My Zoom knowledge post-Hot & Flashy
I fear I have lost approximately two hours of my life (erm, actually nearer three hours, yikes) trying to find the right place to take video calls, the right set-up and how to look better. I have realised the following, directly and indirectly from Angie, my Zoom guru:
1. Position your face so it is facing the most light in the room. Ideally, no bright light above you or pointing to one side of your face.
2. Find a position, ie a chair or even standing, you will be comfortable to remain in for the duration of your call, a factor made more challenging by the adoption of point #1. My windows are all in the wrong place for video chatting chair comfort.
3. Find a way to position the camera so it is just above eye level, eye level looking straight ahead not down. This, it transpires, is actually quite hard to do. Angie has a mobile phone-grabber kind of mini tripod, I just have an adjustable A-board kind of stand for my phone or tablet. I feel she may be a giant step ahead of me there.
4. Find a laundry basket, pack of printer paper, a pile of books or magazines, lap trays, cushions; anything that can make a platform of adjustable height. Position device accordingly.
5. Once the video is on so you can see how you will look, try to zoom-in (never thought to do that before; actually, never occurred to me I could zoom) or move your position so your head is framed such that the top of your hair is where the top of your view is. This is virtually impossible to achieve and probably took up about 1 hour and 20 minutes of my three hours. I blame the fact I do not have Hot & Flashy Angie’s mobile clamp and flexi tripod (it’s tiny but very effective, as so many things are).
6. This is a good moment to reflect on the fact that you tend to look a lot better when smiling and chatting at your friends than scowling, frowning and swearing at your live video-self in pursuit of a way to frame your face, neck and shoulders without an abundance of background above your head. This step is not good if you are feeling old or have yet to regain control over the overall dryness of your skin from all the washing. I should add here that a bit of hand cream and some lip balm before your video call is worth waaaaay more than the effort required to get up, find and apply either.
7. Using the video as a mirror, make your hair and clothing work for you. I have realised that some of my clothes make me look unnecessarily dreadful on video. It helps to feel ok about yourself because you will be seeing yourself, even just in a small box, on the screen. Also, I suppose it’s good practice to dress and present yourself as if you were actually meeting this person in real life (gasp, can you imagine actually hugging or shaking hands with someone you hadn’t seen for a while?!).
8. For phone conversations, I just sit wherever suits me, likewise video chats pre-Hot & Flashy. For chatting to people at work, I usually stand up. For video chats, you also need to be sitting or standing where feels most comfortable and appropriate. I started my quest for the ideal place to sit by facing our biggest source of natural light, balcony doors. The light was too bright on my face and white-bleached hair for my laptop camera to cope with (phone a little better). It actually took me a long time to realise that the backdrop was also dreadful. It was basically the clutter that is our kitchen and I could see it would be enormously distracting. I tried putting a painted screen behind me but I could still see the tops of kitchen cupboards and I realised that is not how I want to present my home. It is also far too tantalising a distraction from my riveting conversation.
9. Our bedroom wall behind the headboard is probably the clearest, non-distracting background in our flat and I am most comfortable sitting cross-legged with my back leaning on something. I kept experimenting with this as a background but the headboard looked really grubby and our pillows too loved so it felt a bit too personal having that on display. However, the height from an upturned laundry basket topped with a few lap trays was about right. I found a use for a pretty throw I bought in India. It is now placed over the headboard, pillows and top of the duvet and means I can sit in the most comfortable place, for me doing a video chat, in our flat with a window opposite. The light will change as the sun moves round and at night time I’d probably just have to accept the almost-overhead lighting (or move a small light to the chest of drawers opposite) but, finally, I think I have found a backdrop and a way of sitting and positioning my laptop, tablet or phone to have an all round better video chat set-up. It doesn’t take long to set up or require insurmountable effort.
Messy bed on display 
Throw to cover up messy bed
10. Most people arrange a time for a video chat, unlike phone calls, so I am now going to prepare myself up to 15 minutes before my next video call, with drink to hand, and snacks where necessary, and get myself comfortable in a more duration-of-conversation way, instead of just plonking myself down in my favourite armchair and spending a large proportion of the chat fidgeting and trying to get a better background, a neck-reduction angle, my head and shoulders largely filling the screen (where a curated backdrop is not required!), minimal areas of shade on my face … yeah, see what I mean, it’s all obvious stuff, but are you actually doing many of these things?! And maybe, like me before Angie, do you even care?
Sitting on stool with seats as leg rests and tablet standing on window 
My favourite lighting experiment and angle, sitting on the stool with the two foot rests (previous photo)
11. I have finally acknowledged that my mirrored specs are dreadful for video so I now have my video-friendly non-mirrored glasses back in use (didn’t realise this until after I’d taken all these photos). I am not going to start applying TV-ready make-up or wear my best clothes, but I am going to dress appropriately for meeting whoever I am talking to and make more effort with my appearance and that of the surroundings I choose to display to anyone I speak to on a video chat.
So thank you, Hot & Flashy Angie, for making me aware of my appearance, I think in a non-vain way, on video chats. If I am called upon to speak on TV*, I now feel prepared to look my TV-best.
(*I have never, and probably will never, be called upon in this way, but, as Covid-19 has proved, always be prepared for even the eventualities you think could never happen)