103. Is the Grass Greener? Not all rhubarby plants are rhubarb

Wednesday 19 April 2023

Chris is still away for a conference in Harrogate and I have two friends, Catherine and Chris, coming to stay for one night from lunch time tomorrow. Yesterday, after waiting for two months, finally our eight or nine pictures are ready from the framer. The wall where at least a few of them will go up ‘needs’ to be painted first. Reiterating that I have friends visiting tomorrow, I have just finished setting that area of the room up to start painting this morning. Bad timing, but I felt the motivation this morning so I’m taking advantage of it. And because it’s sunny, though also windy, I’ve decided to clean the windows in that room. Meanwhile, I have shed loads to do at my desk today. Procrastinating? Hahahahahaha …

Yesterday, I bought a copy of Gardeners’ World magazine. I realise that this purchase was in the hope it would enable me to miraculously know what to do with all the plants in the garden. The previous owners rushed through a run-down of what would need cutting back in April. It’s April. I have no idea what anything is or what to do with the bits that look dead and I’m now worried about picking the rhubarb in case I’ve got the wrong plant – the previous owner showed me various plants, some of which were neither rhubarb nor edible, some of which were rhubarb and edible. I have often picked rhubarb in the past, it’s just thrown me that something inedible can look as rhubarb-like as it does. I’m fairly confident i know which is the edible plant …

I have no idea how anyone who isn’t retired or doesn’t work can manage a garden. I can only just keep on top of things in the house that need doing or, such as painting, I perceive need doing. However, according to Gardeners’ World, I will soon be able to manage weeds the organic way, with Monty Don, and cut back now for more summer blooms, according to Frances Tophill. I know myself well enough that I will take the ‘instinctive’ approach. It will be a warm, sunny day and I will march out to the garden with a pair of pruning shears (that’s all we have, other than spade and other larger diggy things) and hack at everything that looks dead. Some things might then grow, others might not. I will feel puffed up that I have DONE something, even if I later discover that I killed off a load of plants. Something that gets me about gardening is the enormity of it. If there were a guide book written specifically for this garden, with maps and pictures of the plants in both winter and summer and instructions for what to do when, I would love it. That would make me happy and I could easily do a bit every evening. The enormity of my absence of knowledge is overwhelming. As a result, there will be some garden butchery in the next few weeks and I will feel wholly inadequate where all things garden are concerned.

I have just finished the remaining half a rather extraordinary lemon and cardamom muffnut (muffin/doughnut), drank some coffee from my new-but-very-old flask and I’m ready to start the first coat of paint before heading up to my desk.