Friday 24 March 2023
I’m wondering how I would feel if we had moved from the house in Scotland to where I am now, in a flat in Lewisham. Even though “is the grass greener?” is an idiom referring to things you don’t have seeming to be better than those you do have, I don’t think I would have called a blog about the reverse move “Is the Grass Greener?”. I think I was taking the grass and greenery element further than is necessary with an idiom and I don’t think we as a country/culture (?) are programmed to think that city is better than – well, anything really: town; countryside; seaside; village – except if you grew up in a big city or you’re in your teens/twenties and see big cities as being exciting places for work, entertainment and opportunities. That’s a sweeping generalisation and even I can see that that is not a catch-all. But, to put it another way, there isn’t a TV show called Escape to the City, and I suspect there never will be. But actually, there should be really because some people do want or need to escape from a quieter life.
So, here I am, sitting in a flat in Lewisham at 06:31 on a cool, sunny morning with the balcony window slightly open and a mug of tea perched on my knee. I’m looking out at flats, a stationary train on a railway bridge, a sliver of a T-junction and a lot of Victorian houses amidst trees. I can hear planes, seagulls, birds (yes, really), trains, cars. I could sit for ages by this window, observing the goings-on of a small junction. There will always be at least one vehicle and at least one person in view, which right now is someone walking across the corner of a petrol station. I’m up early this morning to do some work before I meet up with my friend Narissa who’s in London for a few days from her home in Switzerland. She’s vegan and, as it was a last minute plan to meet up this morning, we will go to one of three cafes in Deptford, walking distance, that serve vegan food rather than my failing to have anything in the flat that is remotely vegan-suitable. After she’s headed off on the train, I will pop into a shop on the walk home to buy myself something for my dinner (Chris is out with friends for dinner and theatre).
I would think how great it is to be able to do all of those things, none of which would have happened within a walking radius of home in the countryside. The flat is warm, even without heating on, and as a result my mug of tea stayed hot for longer, as indeed did I. The two-bed flat only has three sets of windows, one being a wall of glass onto the balcony. There are three sets of windows in just our bedroom in Scotland. The flat is smaller but would be more expensive to buy than the house. We have no concerns about anything packing up, though of course that could happen, but that is more because this block is only about eight years old. I ordered three things online on Monday and they all arrived on Wednesday. That would not have happened where we are in Scotland, even if there had been a promise that they would arrive on or by a certain date.
What does all that make me think right now? I love a lot about both places, both lifestyles, and I am increasingly realising how lucky I am not to have to have made a decision (yet) about where I want – need? – to be. I think, though, that I would like to spend two weeks in London and four weeks in Scotland, but that in summer maybe one week in London and four weeks in Scotland. I also think it’ll make a difference once the flat is more ordered for actually living here rather than it being ransacked for stuff we want in Scotland. Part of the reason I said two weeks in London is probably because I’d like a week of catching up with people and walks and London things and a week of just living and working here, going out for long early morning walks and taking my time to rearrange things. I don’t think I expected to feel so much love for both places, despite feeling very much ready to make a move out of London, to an extent. I genuinely have no idea how I’ll feel this time next year, or even where I’ll be.
